Tuesday, August 26

I am perking up, I am!!

Things have been quite low for me these days, with Sebi's death and all. I look at the pictures of Matterhorn and still can't believe that it could kill someone I know and used to be very close to. It sends shivers down my spine, especially since I was seriously considering soloing it. Now I just don't know anymore.

Ran Army Half Marathon this Sunday. Had a time of 1hr 54 minutes (thought it was a bit better, around 1:50, but nvm). It was my first half marathon for this year, so I think it is still quite ok. Next year I want to be in the top three. Pretty ambitious, but then again I am pretty ambitious too!

This was my first race in which I seriously considered stopping and going back. I was around the third kilometer, doing sub 5 minutes per km, going up hill, so turning around and going back was not only appealing but possible (since I was so close to the starting point). I also started to think about Sebi, about how there's nothing left of him such that in order to identify him they have to take a DNA sample from his mom, about why they were not tied up, about what's the point of all of this if you end up unidentifiable and clearly fuck up those that you leave behind, about how tired I was all of a sudden. The only thing that kept me going was the thought that I had woken Marian up at 5 am in order to come with me to the race, and if I went back now, his lost sleep would have been for nothing. So I kept running and after the 5 km mark I was well again. I guess my first 5 km are indeed my worst.

This year Marian and I will run the marathon together. I am so proud of him that he decided to embark in such a quest, woo hoo!

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